Subway stories # 56

Stupid questions ppl ask on the train:
"What train is this?" After they've been on the train for 10 mins...
"Does this train go to Manhattan?" As they are pulling into the Jay St. Station...
"What's the next stop on this train?"  As they unfold their pocket sized MTA map while standing in front of the MTA subway map on the train, after the conductor announces the next stop...
"How many stop is it to _______________?"  This one really pisses me off.  How the hell should I know how many stops are between Ocean Parkway and 42 St Times Square?  Do I have an MTA jacket on?  *sigh*

ON TO THE BUM CARD...

Ok a few days ago I saw my regular bum on the train.  You know the regular bums, the ones that you see often, they don't cause too much trouble, make their little announcements, make their way through the car peacefully and always manages to smile and wish everyone a Happy/Merry/Good whatever day it is.  The kind of bum that if you were to see him on the train at night you wouldn't tense up because...you know this bum...but then again, you don't know this bum (I spend waaayyyy too much time on the subway). 

ANYHOO I saw my reg bum on the train and he did his normal routine of passing out pieces of paper with his sad story on them.  He placed one on the empty seat next to mine.  I didn't read it, I've read it before and I know what it says.  Normally he doubles back to collect change from a few ppl and also take back the papers that he passed out, because let's be real it does cost money to make all those copies.  But on this particular day he didn't come back.  I glanced around to see where he went.  Maybe he struck up a convo with one of the friendly ass tourists who were taken by his heartfelt story, maybe he did come back and I missed him and he missed the paper lying next to me (RARE I've seem bums start arguments over their paper, they take mental note of every person in every seat that got a piece of paper lmao) or maybe he just left and moved on the the next cart without his paper?

I sat on the train the whole way to Brooklyn fighting the urge to pick up this paper that was still lying next to me.  It had to say something different because everyone who'd gotten one was actually reading it lol. BUT I'm a New Yorker, I don't pick up bum papers, I don't read that shit!! Right?  WRONG!  I waited until I got to my stop, the last stop, to finally pick up the paper and read it. To my surprise it did say something different. 

IT WAS THIS DUDE'S RESUME!! LOL WTF????? I read this handwritten copy of what seemed to be some sort of outline of his professional history to find that this guy used to be a DJ on the radio, business owner AND get this, personal manager to the late great James Brown himself...*sigh*.  He's also a "Professional James Brown Imitator". *sigh* 



I have yet to google this man but TRUST I will.  I honestly don't believe it because like I said, I've seen this guy before and his old story was way different from this one but this is NYC, you never know.

It did get me to thinking, this is a damn recession/depression and the job market is very shady, so maybe I need to make a few copies of my resume and biz card and leave them at random ass places like the subway, Mc Donalds, Whole Foods lmao...just a thought

CARRY ON!